On Hormones

When my daughters were little there was a lot of ribbing towards my husband about being the only guy in the house. We always joked about ‘one day’ when we would all be PMSing at the same time.

That day has not yet come.

But sh*t is about to go down.

My oldest daughter, who has always been the quiet, straight-laced, drama-free one, has spent this school year going boy crazy, and now at the age of ten and a half is suddenly crying for no reason. I’ll find her weeping in her bedroom and try and comfort her. “I feel so sad, but I don’t know whyyyyy,” she moans.

Sometimes she just wants her Daddy. He was the only one who could get her to settle when she was an infant. It’s kind of funny to see him rocking her in his arms with her ten-feet long legs hanging out the side of the arm chair. She asked me, “Do you sometimes just feel so emotional around Daddy?”

Oh dear.

So the other day I had a full blown pre-menstrual blowout. I screamed at my kids. Then I slammed my bedroom door for full effect. Then I slammed the ensuite door because I felt like I just hadn’t slammed enough yet. Then I was so ashamed of myself for all that slamming that I turned off the light, closed the curtains, and lay face down on the floor behind the bed and began to sob. My husband eventually found me and crawled in beside me and rubbed my back and murmured understanding things.

This was me: Nobody ever listens to me until I have to be a bitch and then I’m a bitch and I don’t want to be a biiiiiiitch. I listed off about six scenarios from the previous few days, including the exchange I had just had with the girls, where I felt that was the pattern of my life. My complaints were weak and I knew it. The more I tried to explain, the more I realized that I had no reasonable explanation for my behavior, and I realized that my period was due any day. Finally I admitted, I’m probably PMSing which is making it all seem worse than it is. 

So I’m 33 years old and I had a temper tantrum.

It was so bizarre. I don’t do that. I mean, I have mood swings, but screaming? No. Door slamming? Nuh-uh. I can count on one hand the instances in my life that I have lost it.

This crazy incident did reveal that my husband and I have both grown. I, for the first time ever, admitted that I was experiencing PMS, all on my own, and apologized for my crazy. And he, for the first time ever, rubbed my back and said ‘I know how you feel Baby, I sometimes feel like that too,” which is THE BEST THING A HUSBAND COULD EVER SAY, instead of the thing he used to say, which was, “are you supposed to get your period soon?”

Which brings to mind this funny video, that I’m sure you’ve already seen:

And in the end, my episode and my daughter’s crying jags happened within a short enough time span that it opened the door for me to sit down with her and talk about hormones and our changing bodies and draw parallels between her weird feelings and my weird feelings. After talking about periods (which she knew about) and PMS (which she didn’t), she said, “So, boys don’t get this? This never happens to boys?”

“No,” I said.

“That SUCKS,” she said. “Women did NOT get a good deal on that one.”

No, they didn’t. But I’m not sure my husband got a good deal on this one either, 3 for 1, but he sure is being a trooper.

6 thoughts on “On Hormones

  1. I wonder what that feels like, to slam the door (twice) and melt into a mass of tears on the floor? I don’t think I’ve ever done that quite as dramatically (although I have sneaked into my room and cried), but somehow it sounds healthy! Oh, and I’m still PMSing (or something) even though I don’t have the M part anymore! 😉 It’s pre- something or other, though! Or maybe post-..?? Actually, Dave says I’m not half as moody as I used to be. wee hoo.

  2. Eek! I don’t have girls but I am one, so a lot of this sounds awfully familiar! Tough times, for sure. But I know you’ll help both your girls through it. Hugs!

  3. Oh my word. Have you been spying on me? ‘Cuz this sounds oddly familiar. 😉 It does get much better though once your girls make it through to the other side of puberty. There’s a lot less drama once the hormones balance out.

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