Social Media Fail.

Sometimes I post inappropriate things on facebook.

Like this one tonight:

The story behind my posting is that about a week ago we were doing chores around the house and we had the radio on and this song came on with a catchy whistling tune in it.

Then I head the lyrics:

“Then you put your lips together baby and you come real close,
you blow my whistle baby, whistle baby…”

I stood there in my hallway blinking for a moment when it suddenly dawned on me that my nine year old daughter was singing along.

Catchy tune.

I wanted to tell her to STOP! And turn the radio OFF! but then realized that she would want to know WHY and how was I going to explain THAT?

So instead I walked away realizing that no harm was being done in the actual moment because she was oblivious to the AWFUL AWFUL meaning of the song, and went down to the basement to find my husband and tell him. I needed to talk about it. So anyways, he came across this image on the internets tonight, and e-mailed it to me. We both had a little LOL exchange via e-mail because I’m less alone in my bafflement as a parent if it’s become an internet meme, and then I posted it on facebook.

Without thinking really.

Within minutes I got a phone call from the wife of my friend / coworker (at the church) and she was like ‘woah what is that totally inappropriate thing you just posted on facebook’ and she was laughing because it is funny and I could hear her husband / my coworker / the youth pastor laughing hysterically in the background. Apparently you couldn’t see my comment unless you actually clicked on the picture and it just came up as the image beside my name in their feed. They thought someone hacked my facebook. (Actually they thought my husband did it.) (For the record, later my husband said ‘are you crazy I would never post that on facebook. That’s horrible!’) (He’s better with social cues than I am.)

So anyways, because of all that we got a good little discussion going about parenting quandaries in the comments section of my post. Which was why I posted it. But that doesn’t always happen.

A few weeks ago I posted this quote:

“As a Christian I have no duty to allow myself to be cheated, but I have the duty to be a fighter for truth and justice.” – Adolph Hitler

Yes I did. I did make a comment along the lines of not just going along with what sounds / looks good and being vigilant about what is good.

12 hours later I deleted my post because I was met with awkward silence and I realized my post was not facebook appropriate.

People do not go to facebook when they want to think or be met with controversial issues or engage in thoughtful discussion. Facebook is a facade. It is our collective facade. I know this, but I keep forgetting it. I suck at facades. I made peace with this aspect of myself a few years ago and I made peace with the reality of facebook too, which is why I deleted my account and just stayed happily away from it for years.

It’s why I started blogging anonymously. The honesty that I occasionally brought to the page (screen?) occasionally interfered with the facades of some of my family members. Facades they have full rights to want to maintain (it’s called privacy. I get that.) To save us all grief, I deleted the old blog and started this one. And I haven’t really written about anything ’embarrassing’ since. But I probably will. Just hang around for a while, you’ll see.

Anyway I only joined facebook again this summer because my new position as church secretary requires me to monitor the church facebook page.

It was only a matter of time before my weirdness came out.

On the one hand, I like posting things that jar people into thinking about something they weren’t thinking about or seeing something in a new way. It isn’t about being antagonistic, and it’s not about the shock value. It’s about thinking. And real conversation. Healthy debate, even.

But facebook is not the arena. This is what I must remember.

I’m sure some people are like, ‘hmmm, that’s thought provoking. No comment.’ Because they have better social skills that I.

Others may just think, ‘woah, she’s a nut bar. Moving on.’ And then they move on. Because, who cares?

It is possible that the occasional person is like, ‘Uh, she is kind of aryan looking. Neo-nazi?’ Because facebook is also a really good place for missing the point.

I got out of bed and came downstairs to delete this most current facebook post (the dick-sucking one). Because I was lying in bed thinking, not about church people so much (I am their nice office lady after all) because my church people are real people and they will probably be amused / engaged and not scandalized or offended the way that people perceive church people to be. But I was thinking about the kids in the youth group I’ve been helping out with lately and building relationships with. We’re facebook friends. I feel responsible to them, not that I need to create a facade because the last thing our youth need is another one of those in their lives, but because they are young and they might not understand the context. If I’m going to be in a mentoring role I don’t want them to be confused about who I am, and the things I’m trying to convey might not be so obvious.

Why am I so bad at the internet?


11 thoughts on “Social Media Fail.

  1. HA! So true. I couldn’t believe it when I first heard that song come on the radio…I was like, “Is this allowed??”, they sensor “Sh*t” but pretty much anything else can go. That Usher song, “scream” is another example! I always think of the kids that must be listening, because I drive past an elementary school around 2:30 everyday, when they’re all clambering into their parents’ cars…wonder how much they absorb? Its a weird world.

    As to social media, I think my biggest fail is online sarcasm. It just never comes across the way it should!

  2. Don’t get me started on inappropriate song lyrics. UGH! I always used to say (when I was a teenager) that I would totally keep in the loop with all the latest songs and I would never be all, “That’s inappropriate!” but Holy Heck, I just can’t bring myself to be okay with it all. I just can’t. Little 9-year-old girls walking around singing “I wanna see your peacock” and “I’ll take you to the candy shop, I’ll let you lick the lollipop” … those impressionable little fans think their idols are actually singing about peacocks and lollipops. SIGH.

  3. Oh, Danica. You’re so hilarious and so honest.. which is why I really like you! As for that post, I was a little scared, wondering if everyone can see it on my feed (cuz it’s a little ‘shocking’) and because I’m so confused about how Facebook works, which is why I rarely post on it. Social media is truly very weird. You’re right, it’s hard to know what’s appropriate sometimes. Better to err on the side of caution when there are young minds who are looking up to you and might not understand the context. Good call. I’ll tell Dave to remove the offensive song from the 97.5FM playlist. πŸ˜‰

  4. How did I miss all your Facebook shenanigans? LOL. I agree about the song lyrics, I was always so naive when it came to that as a kid, even now I’ll find myself singing along then I pause and really listen only to be shocked! (TBH I don’t listen to the radio so it’s rare). But the other night I looked up a song on youtube that I liked from my youth days and was shocked to realize what it was actually saying!
    Oh and YIPPEE you are back to blogging I’ve been checking just waiting for a new post (then I miss all the new ones). πŸ™‚

  5. I have a ton of teenage friends on FB who post the most horrid things all the time so when I saw what you posted it didn’t shock me in the least. In fact, I found it thought provoking and worth a discussion. When we were youth leaders I was always after the kids to really listen to lyrics and be careful of what they were allowing into their minds. For the record, they always looked at me like I was from another planet. But you’re right about having to be careful about what you put out there. Especially when you’re in a position of leadership.

    BTW, I love the new look of your blog and I’m so happy that you’re back to blogging. I’ve missed reading your thoughts. πŸ™‚

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