It is the Monday morning of spring break. Today, I am home. I’m skipping all of my classes today so I can hang at home with the kiddos. And even though I hate to miss class and I can’t really afford to miss class right now, I’m glad for it. I still got up early and went to the gym before Matthew went off to work. I still have a busy day ahead of me with grocery shopping, baking, reading, essay writing, and niece-baby-sitting (sleepover! yay!) so it isn’t exactly going to be a restful kind of day, but nonetheless, I’m happy to be home.
I’ve been missing my kids and they’ve been missing me and we’ve had a few talks about how there are just a few more weeks of insanity. But it is so nice to just hang with them, busy as we may be.
I have four weeks of class left.
My list of to-do items for the remainder of the semester is a page and a half long, single spaced. I feel a little pannicky. I feel the burnout creeping into the edges of my consciousness. But the light at the end of the tunnel gets bigger and brighter every time I look up to take a breath.
Also, we got some bad news regarding my daughter’s spinal condition and that’s upped the stress level around here. I’m not going to get into details right now, but we’re consulting with a neurosurgeon in April. Prayers would be appreciated.
And there is a job I’ve had my eye on for a while, that I’ve been really hoping for but didn’t know if it would work out for me. I received some favorable news that indicate it might be a real possibility. So that’s exciting. I’m keeping my eyes on the sunny blue skies instead of on the ground THAT STILL HAS SNOW ON IT and trying to keep a smile plastered on even though I feel mentally and emotionally exhausted. I keep stopping to take a few deep breaths. To say a prayer. To give a hug.
(I looked at the grime already accumulating in the bathtub this morning and resolved to just let it go for four more weeks.) (Who cares?) (I don’t care.) (Okay, I’m willing myself not to care.)
Four more weeks. And then a few final papers and an exam. And my main project from the last seven-years will be complete. So. So. Awesome.