All That Stays The Same

Happy New Year!

Laying in bed the morning of January first I thought, ‘It’s a new year,’ and then I thought, ‘everything else is the same.’

I pictured myself standing on the first page of a great open daybook. Looking down at my feet, wondering what I’m going to step into this year.

At the end of December I did a little review of 2011 in my journal and thought about some things I would like to accomplish this year. First on the list of course – Graduation. I returned to university as a “mature student” in September 2005 and if all goes according to plan I’ll finally have my BA this spring. Yay.

It is a little surreal actually. I’ve been doing school part time, as I could afford courses, for so long, working as a janitor in the meantime, all while raising a young family. While there were plenty of shining joyous moments, there were also long stretches of drudgery. It was slow going and hard, but I was determined and marched forward, always trying to do my beat at everything, but the end always seemed so very far away. So very very far.

And here we are. One more semester, and single semesters zoom by. I’m pretty excited. So that is the big goal of the year. And by viewing it as a goal, it seems funny to think that all I have to do to achieve it is to keep on keeping on, doing the same old thing I’ve been doing for so long. No big changes or challenges. I will reap the rewards of consistency.

As I looked at my list of things I would like to do this year, a lot of the items are just extensions of the same old, same old. But it doesn’t feel dull. It feels like a slow and steady upward and forward trend of growth. They are all just little nudges pushing me farther in things I’ve already been doing.

Some examples: Dragonboating, surfing and scuba. Last year I joined a once a week recreational dragonboating program. It was something completely new to me. I had a buddy to begin with, but she turned out to not want to continue. So I kept going alone, which was fine. And it turned out that I really liked it. This year I’m going to join the city team, which is a three time a week commitment with the added bonus of getting to go to festivals (races).

Surfing is something that I tried once, about sixteen years ago. I liked it and always dreamed that I would do it again, but then after having children and gaining some weight, and becoming even less active than I ever was (and I never really was) I just sort of  ‘accepted’ the fact that I never would surf again. And then my husband started going on annual surfing trips with his friends. And then I started getting more active and lost a little weight. And then after last year’s trip there was talk of the wives tagging along next time. And I thought, ‘if we’re tagging along, I’m not staying on the beach. I’m going to learn to surf too.’ I’m not sure how the other wives feel about that. And honestly, I’m still not sure if we’re even going. But … wouldn’t that be awesome? I’m holding onto the possibility.

As for scuba, last week a friend called me up and asked if I wanted to take scuba lessons with her. I have never considered scuba in the past. But in the spirit of trying new things, which is a habit I have picked up over the last four or five years, I said yes. So, we’ll be spending six weeks of Wednesday evenings starting in February doing that.

I used to be very timid when it came to putting myself out there and trying new and unfamiliar things. But I noticed that my world was growing very small, and so I’ve made a consistent effort to give things a go. Especially if they’re a little scary, or if I worry about looking or feeling stupid. Without fail I have found that my worries and fears were plain silly.

In almost every are of my life – parenting and other relationships – writing – serving in my church and community – household stuff – finances – health – I have a few hopes for 2012 that I should be able to see come to pass just by walking along in life at the same pace I always do. All that seems to be required is being mindful and intentional about the direction I put my feet as I take each step.

How about you? Any resolutions / goals / plans / hopes for 2012?

 

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2 thoughts on “All That Stays The Same

  1. Sounds like a few exciting things on your agenda for 2012 … things I wouldn’t dream of doing! Dragonboating, surfing, scuba diving (although I do love snorkelling). Good on you! I look forward to hearing how it all goes 🙂

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